breathing in & breathing out

For the most part, our days have fallen into the new rhythm of the fresh year. Filled with the familiar routines of breakfast, the school run, laundry and hanging out washing, cooking meals and eager little hands pulling up stools to the work counters to help me chop, stir and taste. Punctuated by cups of tea and favourite story books and tidying up the basket of wooden blocks, whose contents seem constantly strew  over our living room floor. Helping to build towers which are knocked down again seconds later, eliciting delighted giggles. Carefully prepared food tossed from the highchair tray to be swept up and replaced by the next meal a few short hours later. A baby banished from her siblings bedroom for unknowingly causing scenes of mass destruction to carefully laid train tracks and little towns in her eagerness to join in with everything they do. So she sits outside the door alone, patiently waiting for them to finish their game and emerge again until my heart can't take it anymore and she is scooped up and covered in a hundred kisses, just to see that sweet beaming grin cross her face.

Sisterly bickering and taking a back seat whilst they learn how to compromise and negotiate and then smiling as they pack up little cardboard suitcases with their most valuable possessions and set off on a journey, losing themselves in a game of make-believe for hours on end.Tending to our garden and every day noticing new blooms and picking tomatoes and strawberries from our veggie patch (we have been blessed with a bumper crop of both this season). Stealing a moment to hold a sleeping baby in my arms and imprint upon my memory the weight of her there and run my finger along her soft cheek before putting her gently down in her cot. Mason jars and small glass bottles filled with fresh flowers and plants in terracotta pots strewn through the house because they are good for the soul. Folding laundry which doesn't always make it back into the drawers again before the piles need to be rifled through by a child in search of a favourite twirly dress. Kissing sleeping foreheads and slipping out the door for a rare dinner with a few friends accompanied by freely flowing wine and restorative chats. A Daddy who is almost knocked down by the small bodies that launch themselves at him with such force as he walks through the door after long days at work, eagerly awaiting their precious minutes of bedtime stories and shoulder rides with him before bedtime.

I can hardly believe it's March already and the speed at which every year now passes never fails to astound me. As time slips through my hands like sand, I'm reminded how precious the days and weeks are. The life we have created for our little family is nothing extraordinary but it is ours and I feel so thankful for it and the happiness it brings. Of course some days are long, some bring tears of frustration and exhaustion (mine as well as theirs). The little questioning and growing minds that surround me remind me to stay curious, seek out knowledge and make time for creativity despite the thousands of other tasks clamouring for my attention. In turn I hope they are learning to live and love well, staying true to their own hearts and selves and valuing the importance of kindness because the world can never have enough of that.

After 31 years, I know myself well enough now to have realised certain things I will never be and that aren't so important to me after all. For the most part I can see the beauty in others lives and still feel glad of my own. Comparison is inevitable, we are only human after all, but remembering that what we see on social media comprises the highlights reel of everyone's life, not the behind-the-scenes footage definitely helps. As does the knowledge that most perfectly captured shots probably have a pile of dirty washing and a fruit bowl with some questionable over-ripe pears leaking gooey stuff at the bottom just out of shot (well mine do anyway). Two pearls of wisdom that are close to my heart are 'Bloom where you are planted' and 'Stop wondering if the grass is always greener and water yours'. More than anything I am doing my best to remember that the path to contentment lies in letting go of any ideals of perfection and embracing the highs and lows, inherent messiness and joy this life brings. How lucky we are to be able to experience it all.

taking stock

A little snapshot of life as it is right now, because it's fun to look back one day and remember.

Making: A mobile to hang above Pearl's cot, from driftwood and tiny ceramic birds, a ceramic leaf and a tiny ceramic toadstool.
Cooking: Lots of roast chicken, parmesan baked potatoes, and asparagus while it's still in season.
Drinking: A glass of warm water with lemon every morning when I wake, and a glass of pinot before bed.
Reading: Emily of New Moon by L.M. Montgomery (the author of Anne of Green Gables). I should probably start reading real books for grown ups again but this is just pure escapism for me and about all my weary brain can handle right now.
Wanting: To make a new batch of granola as my breakfasts have been decidedly lacking it without it for the past couple of weeks.
Deciding: On a pre-school for Rose for next year, the local Steiner school is topping the list for me at the moment.
Enjoying: Dipping into 'An Everlasting Meal' by Tamar Adler. A different kind of cookbook which is changing the way I look at food, cooking and eating in general.
Waiting: Not very patiently, and with a great deal of excitement for our upcoming trip back to England in December.
Liking: Starting to do some work from home for a few hours a week and earn a little money again.
Wondering: When Pearl's first tooth will decide to arrive because it feels like she's been teething forever with nothing to show for it yet.
Loving: The warmer, lighter evenings.
Considering: An attempt at baking a loaf of sourdough bread.
Watching: Recorded episodes of George Clarke's Amazing Spaces.
Marvelling: At the garden bursting into Spring bloom. Every morning we wake to discover that a new plant has flowered.
Needing: More hours in the day.
Smelling: Pearl's little head, to get my fix of that new baby smell before it disappears.
Following: Along as this lady rocks her minimalist wardrobe and feeling inspired to do the same.
Admiring: Anyone who manages top get out of the house in the mornings without leaving the place looking like it's been burgled.
Buying: A few Christmas presents for the girls, including this book and these storytelling dice for Lila, so that we don't bankrupt ourselves in December.
Noticing: I really need to re-paint my toenails and get a fringe trim so I can actually see again.
Getting: The house decluttered by purging it of things we no longer need or don't actually use. It's a never-ending process.
Bookmarking: This list of Ways to be Kind to Your Children. Because lately I feel like I've been tired and snappy with them too often.
Disliking: The constant stream of illness that has rampaged through our household non-stop during the colder months. Please let it be over now!
Opening: A frighteningly big electricity bill that we managed to rack up over the Winter. Vowing that I will make everyone wear three jumpers each next Winter and never turn the heating on.
Laughing: At Rose and the way she says 'I-chair' instead of high chair and how she informs me that her hands have gone all 'sprinkly' after spending too long in the bath.
Feeling: Tired but happy.
Snacking: On bowls of chopped fruit mixed with natural Greek yoghurts, a handful of almonds and a drizzle of honey.
Wishing: That we had a dishwasher. Three children and no dishwasher is not a situation I could recommend to anyone.
Coveting: A new pair of summer sandals. There's a pair of Birks in my online shopping cart patiently waiting for payday.
Hearing: The girls playing outside together in the garden
Looking: Forward to getting back in the water and reacquainted with my surfboard again over the next few months.
Feeling: Virtuous that we've finally started using cloth nappies with Pearl, and guilty that we didn't with the other two, but all that washing whilst living in tiny apartments and homes with no drying space was just not feasible.
Hoping: to make a Saturday morning yoga class a regular thing. I've managed to get there the past three weekends and I've been feeling so much better because of it.
Wearing: A lot of outfits revolving around black skinny jeans, Breton striped t-shirts and a chambray shirt because it's easy and requires little effort. Thinking I should apply a dab of red lip stain to try and avoid looking completely like a boy, but usually forgetting.
Reminding: myself that I have a lot to be thankful for.

Pictures...the beautiful pink king proteas currently gracing our table...the mobile I made to hang above Pearl's cot...a newly flowering geranium....a newly sitting Pearl discovering grass for the first time...my vision of a wooden fence with climbing flowers growing up it is slowly coming to fruition.

these are the days

The laughter, the chaos, the trails of toys. The crumbs, grubby faces and sticky, jam coated fingers. The endless laundry and the tiny baby clothes hanging out on the line.

The great days and the darker days with tear stained cheeks. The mistakes and the promise of a fresh start with every new morning.

The midnight feeds, the whispers and warm embraces soothing bad dreams away. The dimpled elbows and unruly ringlets. The blanket forts where dreams are shared and mighty adventures planned. Puddle jumping, rock pool hunting, well-worn books and fairy tales.

And the love, mostly the love. The fierce, unending, gut-wrenching love at the heart of it all. These are the days I will remember at eighty two. And smile at life so vivid and tumbling, joyous and whole.

the happy mundane #5

I briefly considered naming this gratitude list 'The Birthday Edition' or 'The Flu edition' or 'The School Holidays Edition'. All of which are relevant seeing as in the past week I've celebrated my 31st birthday which coincided with the first day of the two week winter school holidays and then got sick a couple of days afterwards with a nasty cold/flu which I still can't shake off. I decided against each of these as the one thing that actually stands out amidst all of it is friendship.

 

Friends that are more like family, since (with the exception of my sister) my actual family is many oceans away. Friends that hand over their no-longer needed baby items and clothes without a second thought. Friends that invite us all to their home to share their food and conversation. Friends that send parcels from the other side of the world containing the most thoughtful gifts. Friends that let me bring loads of laundry over and put it in their drier for me whilst ours is broken. Friends that hold my baby so I can eat a meal. Friends that come to visit and bring a freshly baked cake to share with us. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. You all know who you are if you are reading and I don't know where I would be without you.

 

Here are a few other things that have kept me smiling from underneath my mountain of tissues and helped distract from the most hideous of hacking coughs (sorry to everyone who has been subject to how annoying this cough is. But believe me, it's annoying me more).

 

 

1 // Slow mornings and a generally more relaxed pace of life now we are not chained to the ring of the school bell twice a day for two glorious weeks.

 

2 // Having my big girl around all day. She's become such a help to me these past few months and  has stepped up to her role as big sister to two with such grace and acceptance it has really taken me aback. She is what makes it possible for me to take a shower of a morning and feed and tend to the chickens at dusk.

 

3 // Hitting the jewellery jackpot with a beautiful bracelet bearing a tag inscribed with each of my girls names, sent to me by one of my oldest and dearest friends from home and a dainty gold bar necklace hand stamped with the letters L & R & P on a fine chain from Curt.

 

4 // A birthday high tea celebration with (most of) my main ladies. What a treat to be able to have a conversation blissfully uninterrupted by our offspring whilst indulging in a full spread of sweet and savoury treats.

 

5 // My one birthday request for the day itself (not having to cook dinner or do any washing up) was fulfilled thanks to Curt picking up pizza for us all then rounded off nicely by a delicious chocolate cheesecake and then cosying up for the evening to finally watch The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

 

5 // A garden bench and two huge pots offered up to us for free by our neighbours, which serendipitously completed our new outdoor deck area like it was meant to be.

 

6 // Hearing Lila reading stories to Rose. She can read now, actually read, and I am so proud of her. It all seemed to fall into place for her during the past month or so and she now picks up and fluently reads any of the books from their shelf or the library box. She is unstoppable.

7 // Taking care of our friends sweet bunnies whilst they were out of town for a couple of days. These gorgeous little creatures stole our hearts completely and I now have two children hell bent on us acquiring our own fluffy friends to add to the family. 

 

 

Photos....Warm toes and cups of tea...a thank you in the form of a cinnamon teacake which we devoured in minutes...the very cute Jonathan and Rosie...birthday bracelet...our newly completed deck area.

 

 

the happy mundane #4

This was one of those weeks where the living room carpet had a few crumbs on it on Monday which I kept meaning to vacuum but then never had enough minutes in the day. Then by Friday the carpet was nowhere to be seen and it was just a vast sea of crumbs, flakes of Weetbix (always baffling as the children are banned from eating it anywhere except the table) and small sequins in the shape of leaves- part of the aftermath of Rose dumping the contents of the craft box all over the floor. At least when I finally got it done late on Friday afternoon the sense of relief was palpable. A clean area underfoot could be enjoyed by everyone for all of the ten minutes it took for the crumbs to start building up again. Such is life with children. You have to laugh about it or you'd go completely batty.

Despite the less than ideal house cleanliness situation, I did manage to get a good home cooked meal on the table every night and vaguely keep on top of the laundry so I'm calling that a win. I soon realised when we went from a family of four to five that if laundry doesn't get done every day then things get out of hand very fast. Drowning in it probably sums it up best. So, after that vastly uninspiring introduction to my weekly gratitude list, here are some hopefully slightly more interesting moments and little goings on that serve to give me a kick up the rear end and make me realise that all things considered, it's pretty darn great to be alive and breathing and living this messy, imperfect but pretty awesome life.

Here goes...

1 // The early evening Winter ritual of making the house cosy and getting ready to hunker down for the night as the sun goes down by closing all the blinds and curtains, lighting a candle, and turning on the heating if it's a cold one.

2 // Our glorious freshly painted newly white walls. Happily they turned out just as wonderful as I has been picturing them since the day we first viewed the house. So fresh, so clean, so light. So much better than magnolia. Now just the bedrooms, bathroom and laundry room to go, though it may take another year to get around to that. We shall see.

3 // A lovely two days spent with my sister and her little clan at their gorgeous home. Time with my family makes my soul sing like nothing else. Also, the fact that all of my little ones slept for the entire two hour evening drive both ways, whilst I got to have a chill and listen to some tunes. Practically a holiday in itself really.

4 // My Mason Pearson hairbrush. An early birthday present from my sister, who knew this had been on my fantasy purchase wish-list for a very long time. Nothing like a good old fashioned, quality hairbrush to make you feel like a real grown-up. I've been spending a happy five minutes every night before bed brushing out my hair, during which I think it would be rude not to imagine oneself as a grand lady in her manor house sitting at her dressing table in an elegant nightgown, patiently counting out her requisite one hundred nightly brushstrokes. Or maybe that's just me and my continued love affair with Downton Abbey.

5 // A few hours in the evenings to hang out with the husband and take some time for myself (and ignore the crumb ridden carpet) now we seem to have got Pearl in a nightly routine of going to bed at the same time as her big sisters.

6 // The bath I managed to have this week (thanks to the above), with a hefty dose of epsom salts and a few drops of lavender oil. This has been long and eagerly awaited, as has the glass of red wine I enjoyed in it now I know I have a few hours grace before Pearl wakes in the early hours for her next feed.

7 // The paved path in our garden that now leads to the shed (and the person that created it). Thank goodness I married a man who knows his way around a tool box and doesn't mind getting his hands dirty. Whilst I am great at having the grand visions and coming up with crazy schemes, he is the one that makes them happen and for this I am eternally grateful.

Photos.... hello new path... this weeks colourful and abundant veggie box delivery... white walls and kitchen shelves... my king of hairbrushes... happy tiny girl at seven weeks old.

the happy mundane #1

For some time now I've had all the best intentions of starting a gratitude journal and jotting down a few things to be thankful for on a regular basis. Aside from being a boost to overall wellbeing, I figure that embracing this mentality can only help keep my spirits high on those odd crappy days that inevitably roll around every now and then when domestic matters and child rearing get a whole lot more of a chore than a pleasure and that little feeling of discontent threatens to creep in, followed hot on the heels by the niggling question of "Life...is this it?'

A pen and a notebook with its pristine pages still untouched have sat waiting patiently on my bedside table to be used for this very purpose for about a year now. It's probably safe to say at this point that approach is clearly not going to work for me so instead I thought I'd try making a little happy list here at the end of every week (or as often as I can manage!) For the past several months this has been a place I've come to write when I've felt inspired and particularly strongly about a topic or wanted to share something poignant but I like the idea of also recording the small pleasures and moments in our everyday routines that often go unnoticed. After all, it's the little moments of joy- and the ability to stop and recognise them, just as much as the big celebratory events and milestones which cumulatively make a life a happy one. So in the name of gratitude and thankfulness, here are some things that have put a smile on my face this week

1 // Sharing a mid-afternoon treat with Rose when she wakes up from her nap- a mug of hot cocoa with added vanilla and cinnamon and a pinch of brown sugar, with a biscuit or two for dunking and some stories.

2 // My new English Garden candle filling the house with the scent of lavender and cedarwood is getting me excited about our upcoming trip to the UK and afternoons spent in my parents beautiful garden.

3 // Re-reading some of my old, eternally favourite novels during quiet hours spent on the sofa feeding Pearl, including Little Women and its sequel Good Wives by Louisa May Alcott. I've been lured back to them by a slightly lazy desire for familiar, reliable pleasures. Plus I've yet to find any literary family as comic as the eccentric Radletts and the force of nature that is Uncle Matthew in Nancy Mitford's The Pursuit of Love.

4 // Making batches of homemade granola with oats, almonds, chia seeds, sunflower seeds and coconut flakes mixed with olive oil and maple syrup before baking. So good with a bowl of natural yoghurt, chopped fresh fruit and honey. I like it for breakfast, or lunch or a snack (or all of the above), this would explain why it doesn't hang around for long before it's gone.

5 // Managing to pull off throwing two birthday parties in two weekends for my two biggest girls, both held at home and at insanely short notice. It was worth the effort to see how happy it made them, and a good reminder that kids don't need a lot have a great time. If there is a game of pass the parcel, the chance to run around outside and play with bubbles and a cake involved then it's hard to go wrong.

6 // Beautiful mild Autumn days that beg for brisk walks and are chilly enough for a scarf but bright enough to need sunglasses. Being able to still hang the laundry outside is a bonus as I always seem to shrink the childrens clothes when I have to use the drier.

7 // Having the mother of one of Lila's school friends comment that our house was 'homely and cosy' as soon as she walked in for the first time. This is the best home related compliment she could ever have given me and made me more happy than is probably normal. Hopefully she didn't actually glance too closely at any of the surfaces to see the layer of dust settling there.

8 // Seeing how much love Lila and Rose have for their baby sister already and they way their eyes light up when I carry her through into the kitchen every morning (they then proceed to smother her with kisses, strokes and demands to hold her). This little girl is going to be so well cared for.

Photos...Hot cocoa and stories with Rose...Homemade granola in the making...Pearl enjoying a sunny spot...Still small enough to sleep in Daddy's hand...The party table before the carnage...Front porch hang outs...Birthday cake excitement...Enjoying her party morning tea...Our homely home :)

nesting

I am a home-making enthusiast at the best of times- well, aside from heavy duty (that should truthfully say 'any kind of'') cleaning and the relentless tidying up of the never-ending messes familiar to every weary parent. I love pottering around when I have a spare few minutes, rearranging and creating little displays. Nothing fancy, usually just using objects collected on a beach walk grouped with a vase filled with some dried lavender or a random assortment of fresh flowers from the garden (even herbs or whatever seems to living and green) and a well-loved old edition of a favourite book unearthed from the op-shop.

Creating a sense of 'home' in the old-fashioned sense is hugely important to me. I am drawn to objects like handmade quilts and other family heirlooms and hand-me-downs, treasures collected from travels and items with provenance and meaning. I also gravitate towards being surrounded by lots of calming natural elements and textures like wood, wool, cotton, wicker, plants and any kind of greenery. Living in a flawless or fully kitted out showroom-esque home will never be an option, clearly because I'm just not tidy enough. But aside from that I suppose I'm not really motivated by the same hot new interiors trend or replica designer chair as a few million other people. There's no denying that I enjoy the odd trip to Ikea and we have a few great functional items purchased there over the years but the whole ready-to-purchase 'look' is not the holy grail of home as I see it.

I recently came across the concept of wabi-sabi, the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection, and it really struck a chord. Wabi-sabi is a way of being that champions the simple, slow and uncluttered and reveres authenticity above all else. In the home, wabi-sabi inspires a kind of warm minimalism that celebrates the human rather than the machine, things that resonate with the maker's touch, things with soul. It's not so much a decorating 'look' as a mind set. Over the past couple of weeks my nesting instinct has gone into overdrive though I am yet to get to the dusting of long-forgotten corners or any cleaning of the windows and I'm honestly not too concerned if this doesn't happen. This urge to nest has probably has a lot to do with being 33 weeks pregnant and it has nicely coincided with the changing of the seasons. Though we've been lucky enough to still be enjoying some beautiful late summer days, autumn has slowly started creeping in and I am ready for it now.

The sofa (I know I should say couch now we live in Australia but I'm still stubbornly holding onto sofa, trousers and felt-tip pens among other English expressions), has been draped in a cosy wool throw, toes are soon to be clad in soft thick knitted socks when lounging at home and I'm looking forward to cooking up warm soups and hearty casseroles and lighting some candles of an evening. I am tired; more exhausted than I remember being in my previous pregnancies and ready to slow down, settle in for the colder nights and prepare for the new little member of our family that we will be welcoming in not so many weeks now. A name too, we also need a name for her. It seems that by the time you reach the third child of the same gender, pinning down a name you both agree on is more challenging than ever before with all the firm, mutually-agreed favourites already being used up with the other two. Hopefully we can reach a decision soon and that my powers of persuasion will prevail!

reality and online illusions

I've been thinking about this online space of mine. What it is, what it has been and where it might be going. I first decided to start a blog when I was pregnant with Lila; my first baby, almost six years ago. Back then I don't think blogging was a particularly well known concept and certainly anyone that did have one never could've predicted how the phenomenon would have blown up in recent years. For my part, I simply wanted a creative outlet and a place to write; a journal of sorts. Also somewhere to record and share memories and thoughts on this new adventure of motherhood I was about to embark on. I wanted to create something that my children could read back through when they were grown. In the years since then I've also blogged about my various creative endeavours, spaces, people and things that have inspired me. When we moved overseas it became a great way of recording what we were up to on the other side of the world to share with family and friends back home. I've not really done much at all to promote it and have never had aspirations of garnering a huge readership or making money from it with advertising or sponsored posts. At times I've updated it frequently but there have also been months of silence when life has got busy or all my energy and attention has been taken up elsewhere.

I like the fact I'm not pressured to write daily or even weekly, resorting to just churning out meaningless posts. Instead I wait until inspiration strikes and get something down that is actually real and important to me. I'm also not sure I would feel comfortable with encouraging people to buy products we couldn't afford and aspire to a type of lifestyle we don't really live and could never maintain. It's always been a more personal endeavour than that. However I do realise that the things we choose to share online don't always paint the most realistic picture. I think most of us are aware that everyone is generally trying to put forward the best possible version of their own lives (not just in terms of blogging, in every kind of social media). While I've always done my best to keep this a positive place as I am generally a pretty optimistic, glass-half-full person, I would never want anyone to be under the impression we live anything even vaguely resembling a picture-perfect existence.

We don't have a lot of money, drive a big or fancy car and certainly don't have a polished house full of super expensive possessions. I do hope we live in a home which may be a little shabby but feels comfortable, welcoming and full of love. My kids wear hand-me-downs and we don't buy new things very often. If we have made a choice to have something or go somewhere significant it will have been saved for or at the sacrifice of something else. We don't eat out or go on holidays or expensive day trips much at all but we try to make the most of where we live and what it has to offer throughout the year and we feel happy and grateful for what we have. I think often about our priorities and family values and what really matters in life. One thing that springs to mind is that when you live in a relatively small space with three other people (two of them small and like all children, prone to creating a whirlwind of chaos) I'd say it's fairly crucial that your happiness doesn't hinge on being able to maintain a clean and tidy house resembling a spread in an interiors magazine all of the time.

Some of the very well known family and lifestyle blogs have become hugely effective money generators for their creators but I know for many people they have sadly lost any sense of honesty or authenticity they may have once had, simply pushing products and an illusion of a perfectly curated life. I love finding online spaces that inspire me and feel real but I'm not a fan of the pressure others create to buy this, that and everything, to have and do it all. These seem to breed envy and insecurity, leaving a lot of readers feeling lacking in their own lives and themselves as people. Here's to writing from the heart and knowing that we are most likely not the only people out there with a pitifully empty fridge that could definitely do with a clean and no idea what to cook for dinner tonight (or maybe that's just me!)

days gone by

I sometimes wonder if anyone else has an overwhelming sense of nostalgia for the ways of life that were lived a few decades ago. Maybe it's ingrained in me after a childhood of weekends spend with my parents wandering around every National Trust property in a hundred mile radius of our home, a carefree childhood growing up in a hundred year old farmhouse where (to mine and my sisters dismay at the time, we didn't own a video player until I was almost a teenager), afternoons spent cycling around country lanes when people were a whole lot less concerned about safety gear and unsavoury characters who may be lurking around in the hedges waiting to pounce on innocent children.

Clearly not everything in days gone by was idyllic, far from it, but there was certainly much more of an an emphasis on the things that really matter- time spent with family, pottering about outdoors, a sense of community, making do and mending, growing what you eat and preparing from scratch good food to share. I feel so much more of an affinity to a more simple way of life than the modern markers of success such as monetary wealth, racing up the career ladder, a ten hour work day, a constant state of stress and an unrelenting pace and lack of free time.  I know the world my children will grow up in is already vastly different to the world of my own childhood. When I tell them that there was no such thing as the Internet or mobile phones back then they will look at me aghast and unbelieving.

There is undoubtedly no escaping from the technology that infiltrates every minute aspect of our lives, but I do believe that children should be allowed to be children in the way they always have been for generations. To play, to create from their own imaginations, to be allowed a free rein under a watchful eye on the sidelines, to not have every second of their free time scheduled with extra curricular activities, to be exposed to skills and crafts that have been passed down through the generations instead of being glued to a screen, remote or games console in hand. So I suppose I am careful about what we bring and let into our home- the books we read together, the choice not to buy them toys or dress them in outfits emblazoned with tv kids characters- I'd rather they have a chance to express their own creativity than be a walking billboard for brands and marketing execs. The decision not to turn the television on for them but to encourage them to explore the outdoors or help me out in the kitchen. Making the time to sit down for family meals and talk about our days together.

I realise this all sounds very like 'The Waltons' or something (it's not, there's way more bickering). We're so far from perfect I can only laugh at the concept and and have our share of family ups and downs just the same as anyone else. Sometimes it's hard to try and explain to Lila that she can't watch Barbie Princess Charm School on You Tube when that's what a few of her friends from kindergarten are spending their time at home doing, but she soon forgets it and gets back to the business of making dens under the kitchen table or drawing. And yes, I know that at some point, (hopefully not for a long time yet!) they will no doubt be exposed to High School Musical and Justin Bieber or whoever his god awful equivalent may then be, but I hope by the time that happens that they will have enough of a sense of themselves and their interests that they will be able to decide if that's what actually floats their boat or not. One day I hope my girls will look back and appreciate their childhood in the same way I do mine.      


  Top image- scenes from our home.
  Above- Lila at kindergarten, Rose and Curt ocean gazing.

happenings at home

We're settling into our new home nicely, still moving around posessions, pondering colour schemes and decor ideas and aquiring bits of furniture here and there. Mostly from a series of wonderful antiques markets we discovered in our nearest big town, a few local op (charity/thrift) shops and also on Gumtree- where we were lucky enough to score a free lovely timber, provinvial style bed for the spare room. I just need to mention here that you have no idea how unreal/amazing it feels to me to actually say the words "our" and "spare bedroom" in the same sentence. Decorating on a budget is always a challenge but I'm loving it, actually just loving being able to knock nails in walls without panicking about having to fill them all one day when we move out.

Having an actual garden, well a large-ish patch of grass to be precise, is still a huge novelty and my mind is ticking over with ambitious plans involving rose and lavender bushes, trailing vines and trellices. I had to acquaint myself with the gardening section of the library as soon I stopped daydreaming for long enough to realise I don't actually know anything about garden design, or even in fact gardening. However, the veggie patch is already underway which the children are beyond thrilled about and no doubt my mother, the master gardener, will be happy to help when she and my Dad fly over for an eagerly anticipated visit at the end of December. The only thing bothering me is a memory of my teenage self declaring to my parents that I would never, ever, seriously never be interested in gardening as it was the most boring thing on Earth. This can only mean I am now officially old.

Here are a few pictures of home and things happening in it of late...

1 //  A display of straw hats hanging on our bedroom wall. We've (ha! what I really mean is 'I') decided to go with a travel / beachy / Morrocan style vibe for the room.

2 //  New findings from beach combing adventures to add to our collection of random curios.

3 //  My new book, dipping into it whenever I get a spare minute to myself.

4 //  New necklace creations ready for sale at my stall at the craft market next month. Eeek. Starting to get a bit nervous about having enough stock and whether anyone will actually buy any of them. The entire dining table is now taken over with bead production.

5 //  Preparations for the home made advent calendar I am creating for the girls. Each day in December they will discover a festive item or details of something we will do that day. Somedays it will be a little sweet treat (a candy cane or chocolate coin), sometimes a treasure (a little decoration for the tree or book), alternatively a festive activity (watching The Snowman, listening to Christmas songs, baking and decorating Christmas cookies), or a big event (choosing the Christmas tree or going to a carol concert).

I'm still figuring out the logistics of how all this will actually be packaged up and made to look pretty but it's fun and I'm feeling fairly excited and in the festive spirit already. Well, as festive as it is possible to get in a country where it is likely to be averaging 27 degrees celcius on Christmas day.

roots

I wonder if it's possible to grow roots that anchor you to a place? Seeds that were sown long ago. Maybe your childhood tears that once fell into the soil. Maybe your beads of sweat that germinated and grew as you toiled over a project on the lawn. Roots that carry on getting longer. An invisible, unbreakable tether that will continue grow with you wherever you go but ensure that you are always connected. That you always belong there. Ties that you are unaware of until much later on. 

At the farm the air always feels purer and fresher, more invigorating. The second after I close the heavy wooden farmhouse door behind me I take a deep breath to inhale the smell of home. I've often wondered if it's the washing powder my mother uses, maybe the smell of the antique furniture or the overalls, wellies and outdoor clothes in the boot room.

I've concluded it is unidentifiable. None of and yet all of these things combined. Unchanging as the years pass, comforting and unique. The morning chorus of the birds here sounds more melodic than anything I've ever heard on the radio. The familiar cold tiles beneath my bare feet as I cross the still kitchen in the early morning to put the kettle on and make breakfast.

It's both the past and the future, full of memories but also a place to conjure up dreams not yet realised. The people who inhabit it, their familiar routines and the way things are always done. The way they know you so well you don't need to explain or say anything at all if you don't feel like talking. Here it doesn't matter if there's a recession or even a war on. It's home and it's safe and I wish it could be like this forever. 

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It was so good to be back even for such a brief visit. I wish it wasn't so many, many unfathomable miles away but maybe that is what makes it all the sweeter when I return.

Now we are back in Australia, newly moved in to our new home, all ours this time. It's time to put down some roots for our own little family. But know it will never replace my other home, now I just have two of them.

a bit of britannia

 

Being so far away, it's easy to get all nostalgic about England...those green fields, pretty little villages, country lanes (and pubs of course) and hedges. I really miss hedgerows. Even big old London town and all those red buses, the hustle and bustle and all our old haunts in Wimbledon. Although the reality isn't quite so rosy at the moment what with the wettest summer for many, many years and bad economic times- I know if we still living there right now I would be wishing, planning, scheming how we could get to Australia!- I still find myself subconsciously gravitating towards Britannia themed trinkets and bits and pieces to make our house feel like a home.

A great place to get a fix is at the online store The Shop at Number 57, the brainchild of the British interior stylist Marie Nichols and her graphic designer husband Simon. They have curated a gorgeous collection of items ranging from cute cross stitch kits to printed cushions and vintage wall hangings and charts. I've got my eye on one of the vintage school maps for the girls bedroom. They may not be living there but they were both born in the UK and you bet I'm going to make sure they know their British geography!

Here are a few of my favourite items, check out the shop to see lots more...

    

      

        

Large ceramic button // Travel- London Waterloo print // 1960's British Isles wall chart // Her Royal Majesty cross stitch kit // Vintage apothecary glass bottles // Vintage botanical school poster

england bound

I'm excited because we've recently booked flights to South Africa in September to see Curt's family for a few weeks and during the middle of it I'll be flying back to England (bringing Rose with me) to stay with my parents at the farm for ten days. As South Africa is almost all the way home from here, I couldn't pass up the opportunity and it means I will be able to go to a very good friends wedding. I can't deny that the lifestyle in here in Australia is brilliant and this is very much where we want to be at the moment (we've certainly waited long enough to get here!) but I will always be a home orientated person and I do miss plenty of places, people and aspects of life from my homeland.

This is a big year for the UK and though I'll be coming too late for the big events of the Summer (the Olympic Games and the Queens Jubilee celebrations), I'm still really looking forward to spending time with my family and friends, visiting my favourite haunts and getting my fix of Britishness- nowhere else can do country pub lunches, high street fashion or fish and chips in quite the same way.

This is a big (expensive!) trip for us that we have had to, and still will for some time, save very hard for and it will be the last one we plan to make to that side of the world for a few years. Next years big goal is buying a house here and we want to see some of the world which is easily accessible to us now. The upside of having a rugby obsessed husband is that we'll definitely be making a visit in 2015 for the next ruby world cup! Though I'll be sad not to return again for a while after September, I can't deny the prospect of a week or so in Bali does sound mighty appealing too.