seven truths of motherhood

1/ It's impossible to do it all, all the time.

Let's smash the complete myth that it's a reasonable expectation to stay on top of absolutely everything and excel in every area of life 24/7. Without of course burning out or losing your mind. If I've managed to write a blog post, do the laundry and take the kids on a fun afternoon out then you can pretty much guarantee the house is a complete mess and we're probably having pizza for dinner.

If you attend a playgroup or coffee group where every mother sits around with their perfect hair do and fresh manicure, casually dropping into the conversation how terribly advanced their picture perfect child is and the whole scene makes you feel like Worzel Gummidge - not to mention a complete failure- you are not a bad parent if you a beeline for the exit, never to return again. They seriously exist, I've encountered a couple. It took me a while to realise (some, but by no means all) other mothers do shall we say 'take liberties with the truth' concerning matters of their children and their lives to save face or make themselves feel better.

I've now found a playgroup to which I take the girls where everyone is a bit haphazard, usually turns up late but more importantly they are all really lovely, supportive, can have a laugh at themselves and the kids often rock up with mismatched socks or in superhero outfit/ pajama combos and no one bats an eyelid.

2/ You are not alone.

Sometimes you feel like the only parent in the entire world whose nine month old baby still isn't sleeping through the night (yes Rose I'm talking about you!) Whatever parenting issue is troubling you at any given time I can guarantee that thousands of other parents are battling exactly the same thing and usually having a much worse time of it than you. Not met any of them yet? See the above point about other mothers who sometimes widely exaggerate or choose to omit the reality of certain situations. You only need to log onto the forums on mumsnet to see that you are not alone, you might even find some good advice to try while you're there.

3/ Some days you will feel like throwing your child out the window or willingly handing them over to a complete stranger.

Every now and then they will push you to your upper limits and you really just.need.a.break. Even twenty minutes in a dark room alone would do. They always seem choose the day to turn into the worst, most whiny, disagreeable, overtired or just plain horrific versions of themselves when you have something really urgent to do.

It's difficult to do anything at all when you have a tantrumming toddler clinging to your leg, refusing to let go and who inevitably ends up getting dragged around the kitchen floor while you try do whatever it is that requires urgent attention. Somehow though, usually at the very end of the day they do a complete u-turn and morph into a sweet, polite and loving little angel. You subsequently feel really guilty for thinking unmotherly, bad thoughts about them and spend a good half an hour internally beating yourself up over it. A large glass of wine in the evening usually helps.

4/ Smugness comes before a fall.

There's the odd occasion, typically at a childrens party or maybe in the supermarket, where you might encounter a poor mother with an out of control child lying on the floor screaming- the child that is, not the mother, though it can be tempting. However instead of sympathising (despite the fact at some time or another, we've all been there too), you have a superior moment where you bask in the smug parenting glow of, "Isn't my child so beautifully behaved". Or you start congratulating yourself along the lines of "I must be doing something right!". In my experience, this type of pride usually comes before an almighty fall. The next shop you go into, chances are you'll be the one dealing with an epic showdown.

5/ It's all a big cycle- you just have to keep on pedalling.

There are really small windows of time when as a parent, you feel really on top of things. Maybe you just convinced your child that green vegetables are infact edible or sucessfully potty trained your toddler. Fully enjoy every small victory and mentally high five yourself but realise this state of bliss will not last. Next week comes a new phase, a new set of challenges to embrace. That's all part of the joy of being a parent.

I've found a similar situation with their clothing. I always have an ongoing list of what I need to get them to 'complete' the ultimate well rounded, fully stocked wardrobe, maybe a new winter coat for Lila or a few more pairs of socks for Rose. Whenever I feel like I've finally got there, what do you know. Lila has grown out of all her pajamas and Rose no longer fits any of her vests. Here we go again...

6/ Children see, hear and imitate EVERYTHING.

If you've been wondering where your little one picked up that hysterical concentrating face or really annoying catchphrase, it's not always the case that they learnt it at nursery. Consider the fact that they may have actually picked it up closer to home. From you. Umm, yes, you actually do that all the time but just never realised until the correlation was helpfully pointed out to you by your beloved. While parenting books are always droning on about setting an example, they undoubtedly do have a point here.

Young children are like sponges, and while of course they also absorb all the good things too, it really only hits home when they come out with something shocking. I visibly recoiled in horror the other week when my three year old addressed me as "Silly old cow!", and wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry or reprimand her first (I think I did all three at once). Now I'm sure she hasn't heard it at home- well here's hoping it's not something her father has ever referred to me as, though maybe I need to investigate this further!!- so it got me thinking where on earth she could have picked it up. Hmmm, maybe I need to start paying more attention to those episodes of Charlie and Lola...

7/ If you are at home caring for your child, your other half will always secretly believe that you are living a life of leisure.

I practically guarantee that any mother (even one with a really high powered, important job) will tell you that staying at home and taking care of their child or children full-time is a lot harder than going to work every day. It is doubtful than anyone else other than another stay at home parent will ever fully believe them. Their husband or partner (even if they appear to or pretend to) definitely will not. Even when you patiently try to explain that this is a job which is requires you to be on call 24 hours a day, every single day. Which involves dealing with excrement and other bodily fluids and small, obstinate people it is often impossible to reason with. For which you get no monetary compensation, praise or thanks for that matter. Don't get me wrong, on many days it is beyond rewarding, fun and many more wonderful things but the way they see it, it's morning coffees, leisurely lunches, fluffy bunnies and walks in the park all day every day.

As the saying goes...No one ever said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it :)

Print above from the love shop on etsy.

two months later

It's been over two months that we've been in Australia now. It's been a brilliant but utterly exhausting, sometimes trying time. Picking up your entire life and moving to two different countries within two years is hard work. Crazy hard work and even more complicated with two little people in tow. We've probably taken about ten years off our lives with the sheer stress involved but I'd always rather be glad that we did it, made our dream happen rather than sitting on our sofa back in London just wishing we were elsewhere, thinking "What if...." Thank goodness very young children are so adaptable and take it all in their stride. When I think that in her short life Lila has already lived in three countries and holidayed in another three it blows my mind. I hope these experiences will help them realise that the world is their oyster, they can travel wherever they want to in their lives and that anything is possible if you work hard enough to make it happen.

We've spent the past week surrounded by about eighty boxes full of all our possessions, trying to find a place for them all in our little cottage (which seemed quite a lot larger when it was empty), trying to make a house into a home. We got rid of the last box yesterday and breathed a collective sigh of relief. So how is the reality of the big dream shaping up? Well it's still very early days but life here is good so far, though not without some challenges. I love the vibrancy of the city, the short stroll to the beach and our beautiful, leafy neighborhood with its pretty wooden cottages and verandahs and quiet streets. Living down the road from my sister, and having family and a support system close by has changed my world. Knowing there is someone there to look after the girls in an emergency, to meet for breakfast on a Saturday morning, to babysit every once in a while, and someone to call just because you can. The unexpected bonus that one of my best friends from the UK moved over here at the same time has also meant chats and a cup of tea are only a ten minute drive away. Befriending other mothers at the park has been surprisingly painless and Lila has found plenty of play mates. The weather has been blue skies and sunshine- sometimes a little too ridiculously hot- up until the past week, and since then hello rain. On the plus side at least we haven't had to water the garden.

Childcare is prohibitively expensive if you're not a permanent resident and means that Lila can only go to kindergarten once a week at the moment, when she would love to go for an extra day or two. There's still much to be done though we are finally now with internet connected! I look forward to the day our landlord eventually fixes our dishwasher and I don't know how much longer Curt will be able to survive without our TV aerial working. These are all minor blips in the grand scheme of things though. I'm excited about seeing what the next few months bring and weirdly looking forward to a proper Autumn and Winter. An Auckland winter never gets cold but just means rain, rain and more rain and we didn't even get a chance to don a scarf or a woolly hat last year. Maybe we'll even make it to the mountains for a snowboarding trip! Still trying to get my head around the fact that there is actually snow in a couple of places over here...

entertaining

These table settings are so beautiful. I have a thing for coloured and mismatched crockery. Our dinner set is currently a gorgeous brightly patterned one from Whittard (definitely less delicate than these but you need something more robust with small hands around) and it always reminds me of the circus. I'm getting all excited for entertaining at our place in the next week or two.

Making food for friends and hanging out together is one of the very best things in life. We don't do anything fancy, though I'd love an excuse to rock out some of these place settings! Simple, fresh food, a plentiful supply of wine and good company does it every time. I received this cookery book I've had my eye on for ages as a Christmas gift and I'm dying to try some of the recipes out. I'm thinking a big barbecue with some pretty lanterns strung up in the garden and maybe a few jugs of Pimms. Who's in? :)

Images via dustjacket attic.

decorating the abode

After almost four weeks of living in a practically completely empty house and staring at blank walls, my mind has been going into overdrive thinking about where everything will go and how I will make it look pretty when all the furniture that we shipped over finally arrives. What we'll hang on the walls, what we need to buy and what we can refurbish. As we decided to opt for an awesome beachside yet close to the city location, once again we are living in a little home as opposed to a huge mansion (ha, one day!!), clever storage is crucial.

Here are some of my favourite decor ideas of the many I've been collecting over the past few months on my pinterest boards. I am thanking my lucky stars that I have a handy husband who knows what to do with a saw, a drill and some nails as I thrive off generating ideas and finding the inspiration but am completely hopeless at anything involving actually wielding tools.

Curt has promised to make me some of darling wooden boxes pictured above, backed with vintage wallpaper or gift wrap off cuts to hang on the walls for displaying various knick-knacks and collections.

Totally digging the idea of a wall display of various mismatching plates. I got a gorgeous Rob Ryan one off Curt for Christmas to start the collection off.

Painting a little table with chalkboard paint would be great for the kids, a table and a chalkboard in one. Always a winner.

A step up from displaying Lila's latest artworks on the fridge, this is a beautiful idea. Bulldog clips attached to the wall to hang the art from (allowing for the collection to be frequently updated) inside re-sprayed vintage frames in varying sizes and styles.

If I can get my hands on any from flea markets or antique fairs, I'm going to stack a few vintage crates to act as storage boxes.

I'm thinking some big floor cushions and a pretty assortment of smaller ones to make a cosy reading nook in a corner of the girls bedroom.

A pile of stacked magazines or books as a bedside table...I can totally do that! Lord knows I've got enough of them and not enough shelf space to store them all.

A collection of straw or wicker baskets and pretty patterned boxes for under bed storage, a great place to store the out of season clothes as we don't have a huge amount of wardrobe hanging space.

I have a love for and a vast supply of washi tape (Japanese masking tape) this is a great idea of making a little garland out of it to hang on a mirror.

All images from my Interior Styling Details and Inspiring Spaces boards on pinterest. Click the link to see more and for all the sources.

letter to my daughters

To my darling girls

It never ceases to amaze me that you are both my daughters, born under the same star sign no less, yet as different as the day and night. Lila with your eyes the colour of melted dark chocolate and Rose with yours the shade of the clearest, bluest ocean.

Lila, my big girl, my fire cracker. At three years old you are so sure of yourself it's hard to believe you are still so very young. Your innate confidence means you make friends wherever you go. You love the company of others, be they children or adults. Already a social butterfly, you shine like the brightest light in the room and thrive on raising a smile. A shy, awkward child you are certainly not. We always joke, though would never push you in that direction, that you will gravitate towards a career on the stage, maybe the screen or performing in some way. Though you're so full of surprises that we've probably got it completely wrong! Your imagination is incredible. You can lose yourself in a game for hours, playing out another world with your little figurines or even the perfume bottles and nail varnishes from my dressing table. You know and can do so much already and I am so proud of you. Strong willed doesn't even begin to describe you. Woe betide anyone who tries to make you eat a sandwich though if they were to take the time to read you a story they would have a friend for life.

Rose, my sweet baby. How can it be that you are eight months old already? I can't bear the thought of you growing big enough that I can't hold you close anymore and have you fall asleep against my shoulder or be able take you everywhere with me. You are a beautiful, gentle soul. Everyone who meets you remarks on what a content, relaxed child you are and you have a smile that could melt the frostiest heart. You love to be out and about and happily watch the world go by, taking it all in whilst playing with your toes. As easy-going as you are, it would be a mistake to think you don't know your own mind. When something displeases you, you let us know about it. It's just not very often. Every day you show us a little more of your personality and we are in awe watching you learn and grow. Always touching the faces of those you know and love, you are very affectionate and hold on so tightly for hugs sometimes it makes my heart ache. You are a little water baby and bath time is the highlight of your day. Maybe you'll be a surfer like your Dad.

Though you are so much your own little individuals, watching you grow up together, and seeing the love you already have for each other is amazing. Rose, the way your face lights up whenever Lila walks into the room, how she can make you laugh in a way no one else can, despite our best efforts. Lila, the way you fiercely protect your little sister and introduce her to everyone as "My baby". I can't wait to have a glass of wine with you both in 20 years and look through your childhood photos together. To tell you about the time when Lila only ever wanted to marry her Daddy and for us all to smile over the cuteness of Rose's chubby baby thighs. There's so much to look forward to and most of all I just feel incredibly blessed to have you both in my life.

All the love in the world

Your Mama xxx

snippets of summertime

Thought I'd share these evocative images taken by photographer Olivia Larrain Heiremans, in celebration of high Summer here in Australia. I love the way they perfectly capture the essence of Summertime. My parents are still here in Melbourne for a couple more days, so we're making the most of our time left with them before they head back home to the UK. After two weeks back in Auckland tying up all our loose ends over there and finishing his notice period at work, Curt flies in from Auckland tonight :)

We've found a cute little Victorian cottage to rent only minutes walk from my sisters place and a couple of streets away from the beach and the shops. I am so excited to be living in an actual house rather than an apartment for the first time since I left home a decade ago (wow...nothing like typing that sentence to make you feel old). It's on the tiny side and needs a bit of love and care and a damn good clean but we have our own little back garden! It will be wonderful for the girls to have some outdoor space to run around in, a place for their teepee and paddling pool and we can have BBQ's and eat dinner outside, perfect for hazy summer days. Pictures to follow when we get vaguely organized and if I ever manage to locate the lead for our camera.

Oh and posting may be a little few and far between until we get an internet connection sorted. Hopefully it won't take too long.

All images by Olivia Larrain Heiremans, discovered via Miss Moss.

happy holidays

Happy New Year! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas break. I'm excited about the arrival of 2012 and embarking on a year of adventures and putting down some roots in our new city. We're on holiday with my parents, my sister and her husband and therefore still in full relaxation mode, so I've been quietly mulling over goals, plans and dreams for the next 12 months but haven't done anything so hardcore as to set actual resolutions or stop consuming vast quantities of chocolates.

We've had the most amazing weather and haven't really made it much further than the pool of our holiday house and the beach, just been soaking up the sunshine, reading, playing with the girlies and enjoying having the whole family together again. I've concluded that the best type of holidays when you have children are definitely those that involve the extended family as you are surrounded by willing babysitters and actually get some semblance of downtime. Bliss indeed. Especially with the knowledge that the next few weeks will be super hectic and filled with all of the admin involved with settling into a new home.

Here's a few snaps from the past week...