Friday 2 April 2010

goodbye dear small one

To my tiny unborn baby,

Yesterday was supposed to be a day of excitement. Our chance to glimpse you and see you moving for the very first time. Instead, we looked at the screen and you seemed so very small and still. As the lady started to say "I'm so sorry, it's bad news. There isn't a heartbeat", I think I detached from my body and the words seemed so distant, like it was all a dream and happening to someone else faraway.

Your Daddy was very brave and strong and I fell to pieces as I realised that we would never get the chance to meet you. To hold you in our arms and to see the person you would have grown to become. That you would never meet your big sister who would have loved you so very much. So now we must accept that it was never meant to be. For a reason we will never know, you were not destined for this earth. We must try to move forward and carry on as best we can with whatever twists and turns life brings us next.

But I want you to know that we love you with all of our hearts and that I will think of you every day. May you always rest in peace.

Love from your Mama xxx

7 comments:

luc said...

I am so very sorry. There are no words for this.

anna and the ring said...

There is nothing I can say save I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss!! I am sure this is not easy for you, as I can feel the pain you're going through in your writings! Be strong. Hugs.

Bumpkin Hill said...

I am so very very sorry. xx

Unknown said...

Thank you so very much to each of you for your kind words.

Natacha Malkin said...

Very very sad to hear this faye, but you've written a very beautiful tribute. Sending hugs and thoughts your way. Lots of love xxx

Erin said...

Faye...I found you on Design Mom. I had a stillbirth last year, our first baby. I wanted to tell you that I understand. That it's very real. And that time helps. Not a day goes by when I don't miss my baby boy, but time is a great healer. Some wounds will never fully close in this life, and I've accepted that. I know the depth of your grief and my heart aches as one who's been there, who is there. You will feel strong again and the sun will shine on your family again. I hope you feel the love of your baby for you and feel close to your family.

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